There’s a conditioning in society that occurs, where we as humans attach our value to other people’s expectations, our productivity, our bank account, our waistline, etc. We often sabotage our own happiness because we feel we are not worthy of living a happy life. We either feel obligated to remain small because we feel guilty for being happy in the presence of friends and family who aren’t. Or we take on the shame of those around us.
I believe that a low self worth is the virus that leads to depression, anxiety, drug addiction, and pretty much any problem that exists in today’s society. I also believe that raising our self worth is the antidote to these issues.
It’s not just a female thing either. Women do have it rough. We live in a society that treats women as if we just exist for visual pleasure. Magazines, television shows, movies, advertising, it’s all geared towards making women feel as if our value lies in our physical appearance. It’s disgusting and disgraceful.
But men have it rough too. Men are taught to hide their emotions. Just as we women are seen as supporting roles, men are forced into the leading roles. And that’s a lot of pressure for someone who has no emotional outlet.
Both sexes are constantly being manipulated into comparing themselves to unrealistic idols. Both sexes are constantly being pulled away from vulnerability. Low self worth is a disease that plagues everyone.
I have encountered many people in my life who have a habit of tearing down the people around them to make themselves look better. These people are toxic, especially if you don’t have a solid foundation of self worth. But these toxic people behave that way because they are suffering from an extreme case of low self worth. The only way to combat this toxicity is to first build your self esteem up by realizing that their criticism of you is not real. It’s an expression of how they feel about themselves. It’s a projection of their innermost demons. And when we are able to recognize that deficiency in toxic people, we are able to maintain our own foundation of self love while interacting with these people. The next step is to show them love and worthiness as an example. Not every toxic person is ready to see your example. And it’s not your job to force their eyes on it. But if you shine your light bright enough, eventually you will drive out some darkness.
I have read many articles about narcissism, sociopaths, and psychopaths. Most of these articles will advise victims to cut toxic people out of your life completely. And if you are dealing with an actual psychopath, that advice is absolutely true. But most people don’t meet the criteria of a narcissistic psychopath diagnosis. A lot of people are self centered. As domesticated as the human race has become, we’re really just highly evolved creatures, trying to survive. Survival has always required a little bit of narcissism.
Everyone falls somewhere on the scale of narcissism and empathy. It’s the great balancing act of the self and the ‘other’. That other being a romantic or business partner, a friend, a government, or a society. Self love is healthy and necessary. We come into this world alone. You can’t function as a human if you don’t care for yourself. It’s just that some people operate just off center on that scale. Some people act as if their lives are more important than any other life. They aren’t. Oprah’s life isn’t any more important than Kim Kardashian’s. And her life isn’t any more important than mine. But some people see a pecking order in society. Those people are hiding behind an inflated ego, because they’ve lost the substance of self worth. The people who lack balance between the self and others, people who lack empathy, certainly don’t have any for themselves.
It is rare for someone to be a full blown narcissist with an inability to experience empathy. These are your serial killers, child molesters, dirty politicians, and ruthless CEO’s. These people should be treated as predators. They are more than toxic. They are defective humans. But toxic people need love. If we are to live in this world without war, we need to have a revolution of relationships. Those of us with too much empathy need to heal those among us who have too little empathy. And the only way to bring balance into our society is by blending those contrasts. We all have to learn how to love unconditionally. I’m not talking about romantically. I’m talking about a humanitarian type of love.
If everyone loved and respected themselves, the world would be a peaceful place. Acceptance of ourselves will lead to acceptance of others.
It all boils down to self worth.
How do you value yourself? What spectacular uniqueness do you bring to this world? Do you realize what a miraculous fucking creature you are?