My eight year old and I danced until midnight in our living room last night. It was the first time in almost a month that I had truly felt joyous. As we broke it down to Lady Gaga’s just dance, I dropped some pretty awesome relationship advice on my daughter. I said, ‘Honey, when you get older and a boy breaks your heart, remember to dance that boy right out of your mind.’ She just giggled at my silly advice and kept stomping around the room. When I tucked her in, she told me that she had a good time dancing. I did too.
Sunday morning, I was driving my girls to meet up with their dad when my eight year old started freaking out and yelling that there was a lizard in the car. I actually started to worry that she was hallucinating or something. We don’t have lizards in Michigan. I pulled over only to find that we absolutely do have lizards in Michigan and one was in my damn car! I tried to catch it, but it scurried under the seat and is possibly lost there forever. My nature loving eight year old was over the moon. She has texted me twice now to see if I caught it yet.
After the lizard situation, I dropped my girls off at the restaurant where their dad and I used to have breakfast every Sunday when we were married. Only this time he was waiting for us with his new girlfriend. The one that tried to steal him away from me years ago when we had just begun dating. This was my first face to face encounter with her since their little reunion. I think I handled it well except for when I literally walked away while she was telling a story. I didn’t feel like listening about her trip to Florida. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I don’t know why I struggle with these things. I just do.
After that I met up with my mother and niece to go to a painting party. It was my mother’s first attempt at spending time together in several years. She has been trying so persistently to be nice to me. I was excited for the chance to heal our relationship. But as I listened to her complain and criticize people through out the entire ride to the party, I found myself thanking God that I had hit that roach in my car on the way. She is draining. But that is all she knows. She has no personality. She has no social skills. She is just a big energy-sucking, negative vortex of criticism. But she’s my mom and she is trying. So I tried too. And I do love her. She is just broken. I know this, because I am a little broken too. The pot helped. Having my sweetheart of a niece there to buffer the awkwardness helped too.
We also stopped to visit my grandparents. I fucking love my grand parents. My grandpa showed me his patch of canna flowers, and pointed out that they were taller and better looking than my grandma’s patch of canna flowers. This is because he planted them deeper than she planted hers. I think they were both beautiful patches of canna flowers. My favorite thing about today was watching my grandpa smile when I told him about my daughter’s lizard debacle. His eyes filled with pride as he told me that she gets her love of nature from him. He said he was just like her at that age. I love that about her, and him.
And the cherry on this Sunday Sundae? The guy that I had ghosted on Friday… The guy that I have been trying to get out of my head for nearly a month…messaged a pathetic ‘Hi there,’ today. I didn’t respond. I just danced like a mother fucker and smiled while my feet scattered around the room, to the bone chilling voice of Sharon Jones. I danced that boy right out of my mind and it felt good.
This was exactly the kind of weekend that I needed.